Saturate
by EchoDeltaNine
Summary: Saturate: series of one-shots in no particular order. Based off of Breaking Benjamin's first CD Saturate. Mostly pre-Breaking Dawn,may be some post-Breaking Dawn. Rated M, just in case... please R


**All characters in the Twilight series belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

**Song lyrics: _I Wish I May_ from the _Saturate_ CD by **_**Breaking Benjamin**_

* * *

"…_You left this land of shiny lights / I wish I may / I wish I might…"  
_

It was silent except for the crash of ocean waves upon the sand. Pleasantries had already been exchanged, and an awkward stillness prevailed. They had been holding hands, but now she pulled hers away and turned her back to the sea to face him.

"Look, Jake, I don't know when I'll be back. I don't know if I'll ever be able to come back."

Of course not, Jacob thought bitterly. Of course she wouldn't be able to come back. Sam would tear her to shreds.

"You'll write though, right?" It was the only gesture he was going to make. He didn't know if she would take it and use it to her advantage or not. He hoped to God she would; he needed her, even though she was not his to have.

The expression on her face was doubtful.

"Every day." Ha! He almost laughed. An empty promise that was sure to be broken.

"I will miss you, Bells," he vowed softly, forcing back the waves of anger rolling through his body. "And I will love you, despite everything. Forever, you know." She smiled sadly.

"Yes, I know. And I love you too, Jake. I'm sorry that I love Edward more." He bit back a groan of pain. How many times had he replayed that conversation in his head? How many times had he broken something in his anguish?

Way, way too many to count.

"Yeah." A whisper. "I'm sorry that you love him, too." Her sharp intake of breath had him regretting every word. "I'm sorry; that was uncalled for."

"No, no. You're completely right." Her wide brown eyes glistened with unshed tears, and the wind whipped her hair in her face. He wanted to reach out and wipe them away, but as he did so, she turned her face away from him. She stammered.

"I- I have to go."

"Bella, wait!" But she was already gone, running pell-mell down the beach. He was surprised that she didn't trip and fall. She made it safely to the parking lot and disappeared.

He sighed and kicked at a rock. It sailed a good fifty yards into the ocean.

"Damn it." He glanced back to the parking lot through bleary eyes and the glare of the sun. "I wish things were different, Bella. We could have had so much…."

Despite his yearning for her to hurtle back towards him, she didn't peek around the corner, grinning and beckoning for him to follow.

Of course not, why would she?

* * *

He made a great effort to forget about her. In an attempt to clear his head, he ran to California and back in less than six hours, and then he crashed for another sixteen hours to recuperate.

Since the Cullens had left, Sam had been a bit on edge. He said that it mad him uneasy for some reason. Jacob had no idea why. Without those filthy bloodsuckers there, he felt free. The only thing that made him uneasy was knowing Bella would be one of those bloodsucking leeches soon enough.

He hated the thought, but he knew there was no way to stop her. Not that he ever could, but now there was no hope at all.

Three weeks later he came home from hanging out with Quil and Embry to find a letter with no return address to him on the table. He didn't recognize the writing, but he opened it anyway.

The envelope smelled too sweet; it burned his nose and made his eyes water. But the stationery smelled like a home he hadn't had in weeks. It smelled like Bella.

_Jacob,_

_Hiya, Jake. How've you been? I've missed you terribly. I'm getting married in a week. I'm scared to death. I wanted to let you know. I miss you so much._

_I need to tell you something…. I don't know when I'll be able to write again. There're some really crazy things going on. I'm sorry. _

_Please wait for me. We can be friends when all of this gets worked out. I promise._

_Love you, _

_Bella_

Jacob gritted his teeth. Of course. He should have known that their friendship could never last. Werewolves and vampires had no right to mix.

With that one letter, she had completely ruined all of his dreams. She thought they could still be friends. _Ha! _Jacob laughed acidly. _She has another thing coming._

"…_When all these dreams have come to end/ you wish you were, you're not my friend…"_


End file.
